Self Care Is Not Lazy
Self-care is such a buzzed about word. It’s not hard to find easy ways to take care of yourself, but I want to talk about the labels other people put on self-care. For example, there are some people who think self-care is lazy. I want to go through the three main things that I hear from other people about how self-care is wrong, with an extra side piece that doesn’t necessarily fit into the main problems but is a problem as well.
The school of thought that what you’re doing isn’t productive, so it’s a waste of time. They think you need to be doing something that is productive, or makes you more productive at work. Especially in America, there is this idea that we have to be so productive with anything and everything in our lives. We can’t just have a hobby. You can only paint if it relaxes you, but you should also be able to sell it for money. You can’t just take a walk for the sake of taking a walk, you must also do something else to make it productive.
You’re not doing the right kind of self-care. You have to sit still, meditate, refrain from eating meat, and cut out all negativity from your life for it to count as self-care. Usually the “right kind of self-care” is something passive, light, and soft. We have to be so nice about our choice of self-care and not be too pushy.
You’re doing it wrong, period. You need to be doing it longer, doing it every day, only doing it in the morning, do it alone or with other people, or do it exactly how this guru tells you to do it. In other people’s eyes, there’s a ridiculous amount of ways that you can be doing self-care wrong. However, there’s no right or wrong way to do self-care. It’s about how it makes you feel better.
The side piece is that there is micro-aggression about self-care, where your self-care has to be at convenient times for the other people in your life. Of course, you need to take care of yourself, but now isn’t the right time. They need your help right now or need you to do something that benefits them. When self-care turns into an inconvenience for them, they think you shouldn’t be doing it anymore. It becomes about doing it on their schedule, instead of your own, because in their minds self-care isn’t important unless it works for them. It’s not good enough to be a priority.
You have to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. There is no true right or wrong way. It can mean playing games, walking the dog, cleaning the house, splitting logs, or whatever works for you. I used to do deep cleaning when I needed to calm my mind, but now I just need time to myself to read or journal each week. Choose whatever you need to do, explore ideas, and just take care of yourself. Don’t let everyone else pressure you to do what they want or need you to do when you feel like you need to take care of yourself. You do you!