Avoiding People 102

I talked about avoiding people in the 101 post. Partially as a funny thing but also as something useful for those who really didn’t want to see some people. Which is a valid depending on the person. We do not owe people our time or energy. And sometimes normal means go out the window.

To expand on the 3 different levels there are some mindsets and boundaries you need to set up in order to make these work better.

Level 1

This is the level that most people have no problem doing. We all have times when we are just busy, or are just tired. you get to tell people that. That things are not great to sit around talking to them for an hour, or to help them with something for a full day. You get to decide when you get to interact with people. Saying “I don’t have the time or energy right now” is a valid reason.

Level 2

For some level 2 can be hard. It is putting boundaries on specific people which can hurt some feelings. But you are not doing this maliciously, but protecting your time and energy. We only have so much and a portion of that to actually to give to others. We all have other responsibilities we have to fulfill. In later August and September most of my friends and family know they won’t see me much. Its my busy season (business, freelance, and seasonal work).

You get to choose how you spend your time. If some people are just too draining for you in a certain time, you have every right to lessen the amount of time you spend with them. Sometimes we cannot be the main support for someone. Not that we will abandon people when they really need us, but a lot of problems some people have are not real emergencies. Some people are just too draining sometimes.

Level 3

With this I gave a lot of examples about avoiding people that many people could not do. It takes a lot of not being easily embarrassed or shamed. But it also takes a lot of courage. Yes, these ways to avoid people can seem ridiculous but it is in support of not being around people you don’t want to be. And it is your right to not allow toxic people into your life.

You are not being rude or selfish for not allowing them access to you. Again, you do not owe people that. It is not your job to always help or fix others. Sometimes people need to do their own work.

These are just the basic boundaries and mindsets we need to be able to hold our ground for avoiding people. Even though to some avoiding is not a good thing, but we do what we need to take care of ourselves. Just like everything with taking care of ourselves, it will take time to work up to these.