People Pleasing and Perfectionism: Interview with Nicole
Tips on How to Stop Bad Habits: Perfectionism and People Pleasing
People pleasing and perfectionism are two habits many of us fall victim to without even realizing it. These can be really harmful behaviors that reinforce anxiety and fear. In this interview, Nicole shares her tips on how to combat people pleasing and perfectionism so you can live a happier, healthier life.
Tips to stop people pleasing:
Awareness: Make sure to check if you’re making life decisions based on YOUR beliefs/values or because of others’ opinions on it
Go after things that enhance you - it’ll help you like the person you are more, which in turn will help your personal relationships with others grow
Speak up: You can explain, in a kind yet clear way, to the people who impose their opinions on you that you simply don’t need their input on certain areas of your life. Others are responsible for their own reactions and thoughts/feelings to this, you are not - so you don’t need to pre-plan how they will respond
Tips to work on perfectionism:
Don’t ruminate on mistakes or possible poor outcomes: Ask yourself what will happen in the worst case scenario: Are you going to die? No. Is the world going to explode? No. More times than not, the worst thing that could happen is you’re going to feel a little uncomfortable - that’s okay! Simply move on when things don’t go as you planned and try not to dwell on it
Procrastination can reinforce perfectionism: If you think you can’t do something perfectly or may “fail” at it, oftentimes you’ll procrastinate on it, and this reinforces the behavior of perfectionism. Instead of procrastinating, find ways to feel more confident in the task: ask for help, learn new skills to aid you, connect with others on it
The bottom emotion behind people pleasing and perfectionism is fear. We all have fear of rejection/abandonment/failure/etc., so we must remind ourselves that we are more than our emotions and our past experiences don’t define our future.